Pretty sure my pediatrician cringes when he sees us in his appointments.

We had well checks today for both Hollywood and Captain Chaos.

Hollywood did great. Everything looks good. She politely answered all questions. She passed her hearing and vision screening. No scoliosis. Good.

Captain Chaos? How about some conversational snippets?

————————————

<Dr. NiceGuy is listening to Chaos’ heart and lungs.>

Chaos: I have a little booty.

Dr. N: Mmmmm-hmmm.

Chaos: You have a big booty, huh?

Dr. N: relatively speaking, I suppose so.

———————————————

Dr. N: Can you name any of your body parts?

<Mommy is violently shaking her head>

Chaos <excited to know the answer, points to chest>: These are my nipples!

Dr. N: Okaaaaaaaay. Any others?

Chaos: Ummmmmm. No.

<Mommy holds head in hands>

—————————————

Chaos: Uh-oh. Potty!

<Mommy snatches Chaos up and races down the hall past nurses desk to bathroom>

Chaos: My underpants are wet.

<Mommy grabs a paper used for the changing table and wraps it around Chaos to walk back to exam room>

<Chaos walks back down the hall. Notices nurses watching him.>

Chaos <while waggling his booty>: You like mah skirt?

<Nurses erupt into hysterics. Mommy looks for a hole to crawl into.>

———————————–

Thank goodness we only have to go once a year for well-checks. He’s not usually as “funny” when we go for a sick visit. For the record, Chaos knows lots of body parts, he doesn’t own any skirts, and every time we have the booty conversation at home I remind him that’s it’s not nice to talk about other people’s bootys. Or their size. You know, just for the record.

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40 thoughts on “Pretty sure my pediatrician cringes when he sees us in his appointments.

  1. 😀 😀 LOL
    love this conversation. Very funny indeed

  2. Heather Prins says:

    mg that is hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh today!

  3. Nicole says:

    Oh, too fabulous! These are so funny. I’m glad you wrote them down… you’re going to really treasure that later. 🙂

  4. raisingivy says:

    At least you gave the nurse a good laugh; probably made her day!

  5. Visiting from Sits!! This is hilarious!!! =)

  6. Co-Pilot Mom says:

    Hilarious! They really say the funniest things sometimes!

  7. Happy SITS day. Those are PRICELESS. Oh GOD. When the doctor asked Sam a similar question, he replied, “My penis is my best part”. And my Sam does own several skirts. At five, his primary ambition in life is to be his big sister when he grows up still, so he has no problem dressing up like a girl.

  8. Another Jennifer says:

    Too funny! My 3yo is always entertaining when we’re in public. Makes life more interesting! Happy SITS Day!

  9. Hilarious! What a great memory to tell them about when they are older!

  10. Maggie says:

    Cute. It’s always amazing what those kiddos of ours say in public!

  11. misssrobin says:

    Just wait until he is able to post these things as facebook statuses. Then everyone will get to share!

  12. Oh my! This is hilarious!!! I love your nicknames for the kids too… Captain Chaos just says it all! 🙂 Congrats on being featured on SITS!

  13. sjskill says:

    Made me smile. You definitely can write as I said in another comment. Enjoy your SITS day.

  14. Karen says:

    That is hilarious, pretty much happens whenever I take Dinosaur out ANYWHERE… Love their nicknames for the blog.

  15. colleenieg says:

    Too funny! I would have loved to see that skirt dance! Stopping by from SITS today.

  16. thebusymomsdiet says:

    Hahaahaha! This was too funny. I really can’t get enough stories about funny things kids say!

  17. Kim says:

    Oh kids, aren’t they just darling 😉 As someone who gets embarrassed extremely easily, my children have made my face go red on numerous occasions. At least you can get a chuckle out of the situation once you are out of the ‘heat’ of the moment. And they make great blog posts too 😉 Enjoy your SITS day today!

  18. Gotta love those cringeworthy moments!

  19. lyzamay says:

    So adorable, I always wished i would keep a journal of all the wonderful things that my daughter has done/said. I always think I’ll remember, but we can’t remember everything can we?

  20. They are ADORABLE! Out of the mouth of babes, right? HAPPY SITS DAY!

  21. {Kathy} My husband is a Pediatrician. We pretty much hear things that come out of kids’ mouthes on a daily basis around our dinner table. These comments are TAME compared to most that I have heard! Consider yourself lucky!

  22. buhle says:

    LOL. Gotta love little ones. Great story. Happy SITS day!

  23. The post was very funny! O course, all that was probably not quite so funny at the time for you! But you can tease Captain Chaos for the rest of his life with stories like these!

  24. Jean Lynd says:

    Oh, that’s funny! I love the randomness of kids. Maybe that’s why I have 4 of them?!?!

  25. I can just imagine sharing this post with future girlfriends. Very funny.

  26. Those are hysterical! Kids are so funny, and unedited! I’m stopping by from SITS! Happy SITS Day to you! I’d love for you to stop by and say hello. You can link up some scrapbook creations next week. 🙂

  27. So cute! I’m sure the dr loved it – a memorable patient for sure 🙂

    Visiting from SITS… love your blog!

  28. heysheila says:

    Hilarious! Stopping over from SITS.

  29. Hope says:

    LOLOL!!! too funny! There is never a hole big enough to crawl into when kids are really being kids.lol Happy SITS DAy!

  30. HILARIOUS! I have to say, Booty is my 3-year-old’s new favorite word…trying to redirect the phrase to bottom, but it seems to be sticking 😉

  31. Dorothy says:

    You think Chaos should have a blog too?! Yayy for SITS bloggers!

  32. Danielle says:

    Love this post! I can only imagine the kinds of conversations I will get to encounter when my son gets older. Happy SITS day!

  33. Angie says:

    This made me giggle. Thanks for sharing your stories with the world! Sounds like you’ll never run out of stories to tell with this guy!! Happy SITS day.

  34. Carrie says:

    This is hilarious!!!

  35. Too funny – but I can say that because it didn’t happen to me. 😉

    Visiting from SITS!

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