Stephanie Howell has a challenge on her blog to “blog your heart.” That is a scary challenge. Sharing the reality of your life always is. But I like real. I don’t live in a world of rainbows, unicorns, and glitter (except on some of the girls clothes – Thanks Justice!). I live a real life.
So, here’s what’s on my heart, right now:
I try really, really hard to balance myself. To strike just the right chord between “fun-mom” and “down-to-business mom.” It’s hard. It’s really hard. It’s especially hard when I am trying to be fun Mom and the kids act like brats and I have to be business mom.
I worry that I make my kids do too many chores or maybe not enough chores. Will they ever be responsible?
I worry that we don’t spend enough time outside. Or maybe too much (skin cancer, you know).
I worry that we don’t do enough fun stuff. Or maybe too many fun things. They could get spoiled.
I worry that I am too relaxed. Or not relaxed enough.
I am a worrier by nature. Give me a situation and I can name 40 of the possible worst case scenarios. And my oh my, has having kids made me worse! I try to hide it. I do. My kids would be permanently scarred if they knew what I worried about.
So, what’s on my heart is that I want to spend more time being “fun-mom” and less time being “worrier-mom.” More “in-the-moment-mom” and less “prepare-for-the-zombie-apocolypse-mom.” More “sure-you-can-use-glitter-today-mom” and less “how-will-I-ever-clean-all-this-up-mom.”
It’s a daily struggle. I win some, I lose some. Sometimes I feel like I did just the right thing for the moment and other times, I look back and roll my eyes at myself. It all goes by so quickly.
So, what’s on your heart?