Create a Healthier Lifestyle | In Which I Frighten My Trainer


We recently joined a local workout facility. With that I got 5 free personal training hours – Yay. I went last week and had my fitness assessment in which all was good. I have no joint pain, my resting heart rate is good, and so is my blood pressure. We won’t talk about the body fat or the weight or the like.

I was off the week then went back for my first real session on Monday afternoon. As I was getting ready to leave Chaos decided it would be a grand time to throw the fit of the century. Of course. Which made us run late. I pulled into the club at 3 p.m. just as my session was due to start. Dropped the kids off and ran to the locker room to drop off my things.

I met my trainer (we’ll call him Tom to protect his innocence) at the desk and made my apologies. He was kind and immediately set in with my new warm-up. It started out innocently enough, just use this foam roller he says. How bad could that be?

I mean, let’s talk foam for a moment. Cushy, soft foam. I have some on my mattress. I love foam. Foam rollers? Not made of foam. They feel more like a 2-ply paper towel wrapped around a pine log. So, i have to lay across this foam roller and roll it across my quads, which felt more like a good massage. Yay!

Okay. So far so good. Then he goes on about the IT band that runs along the side of your thigh. A completely unnoticed collection of fibrous tissue in my opinion. Until you foam roll it. I laid across it on my left side and started to roll the foam roller down my leg. People – I cried.

I have a fairly high tolerance for pain, and here I am laying on the gym floor with tears streaming down my face. It hurt. So. Bad. My trainer had the good sense to not laugh. He made some consoling noises and told me to do the right side. It didn’t hurt as bad on the right. We finished the foam rolling and progressed to the three minutes of cardio to raise my heart rate. I jumped on the elliptical. For 3 minutes. Which was apparently 2 minutes and 30 seconds too long for me. I finished with that and we headed off to stretch. I did okay for the static stretches, but as Tom was demonstrating the other stretching I was to do, I was overcome with nausea.

At least I was able to hold my peace until I got to the bathroom. Good for me.

I felt better and we continued with the workout. Did some weights. Did some lunges. Got dizzy, laid on the gym floor. You know, with my feet in the air to keep the blood in my head. It was a great time. Really.

Again, I made it back to the locker room. Without my locker key, which I had given to Tom to hold for me. I sat in there for 10 minutes getting my wits and my strength back until another, female trainer came looking for me.

She had my key.

I gathered my things and ran into Tom as I was leaving. Ever the champion of exercise he noted, quite happily that I had burned 242 calories. And he would see me Wednesday for session 2.

O happy day.

I’ll let you know how it goes.


One thought on “Create a Healthier Lifestyle | In Which I Frighten My Trainer

  1. […] I was so super sore yesterday after completing my workout on Wednesday (vomit-free I might add). Today I can at least walk, though sitting and standing are still an […]

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